Every year at the beginning of the holiday season I tell myself I am going to enjoy this year…

But somehow the season proves itself to be stressful and just beyond my enjoyment meter. It’s a beast all its own.

Why does it seem that others are able to gather up the holiday and carry it out like Martha Stewart? Why can’t I be like that?

I flat out had to admit that it is just not my favorite time of the year. Does that make me a bad person? And did I forget to mention I am a Christian? This is the time to celebrate Jesus’ birth. Does that make me a bad Christian? Ouch! I hope not.

Even my older son told me last year, “Mom, you never really were that happy around the holiday time.” He was right. I did try to hide it, but clearly I was not successful.

My daughter adds, “Mom, you hate Christmas,” very nonchalantly.

Okay, that cements it…I’m a terrible person!

With each holiday season come expectations. Maybe the expectations are created in my own head, but I definitely feel expectations. I try to make everyone happy and doing so seems to elude me each year. There is never enough money. There is never enough time. There is never enough of me to go around.

I want to make everyone happy. That’s my target every year, and I fail every year.

So, this year I am going to try and make me happy. I have failed miserably at trying to please everyone—heaping stress upon stress on myself—and this year I am taking the heap off!

Is it possible in having a bit more “self care” I will be able to please one and all? Nah! But who knows, maybe my odds are better than last year.

And that my friends, is what I am shooting for. Come on Santa, bring me a better track record!

All I want for Christmas is less stress! Anyone willing to bet on me? I’m not Rachel Ray, I’m not crafty, I don’t like most Christmas music, and I am very bad at keeping picture albums…and I love my family with my whole heart.

Could it be that I have been “holiday challenged” because I forgot about taking care of me? Perhaps, as I find my own joy in the season it will spill over and some of my “holiday bliss” will rub off me and on to them. What do I have to lose? At this point I can only go up.

I may even get some Christmas stockings to hang over the fireplace for my family…ah yeah, we don’t have any. I told you I was a terrible person.